After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
