After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
