You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
