he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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