Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
