I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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