these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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