Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
