The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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