Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
