so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
