Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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