I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
