I think I won the penis lottery.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He better not be in your backpack
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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