4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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