I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
