Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
being pregnant is like rehab
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
