Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
