just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I need to align my fucking chakras
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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