there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Panties = found
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