u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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