Got a toothbrush?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
