Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
