its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
