Are we in a gay sports bar?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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