Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
