Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
