dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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