i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
