Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
