Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
