I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
