So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
