I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
