i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
