yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
