her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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