So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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