Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
