you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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