whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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