So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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