I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
