He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize