I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
