Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
