Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
