i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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