Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
