Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
