my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
