she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
