and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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