I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Randomize
