I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
