Betty ford says i'm here all night
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
40s are totally the cure
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
