Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
